Bless This Mess

I cannot for the life of me remember when it started...this tight grip I desperately keep on the order in our home. I don't think I've always been this way, but then again, I am probably in serious denial. I love being in control. Seriously, it's a sickness. So, I think that in this season of my life, as a stay-at-home-mom, my control has been over our home. And by home, I mean everything: the laundry, cleaning, cooking, organization, even our daily schedule. When I was working, I could control that part of my life, to an extent. And I did it well, as it was key to the successes I had during my career. Now that I am not working outside the home, I manage the home. I can't help it. This is a quality I have a lot of pride in and it has proved to be quite redeeming over the years. But, I have been feeling this tug at my heart, finding convictions in some peculiar places.

Like....my kitchen.

That picture gives me anxiety. I'm biting my nails as I look at it. But let's switch gears for a second and look at this scenario from a 3 year old's perspective. This darling 3 year old to be exact...

My 'B'

That is her happy face. Pure joy. What you don't see is the mess she has her hands in. We decided to make simple heart cookies; she loves to help her mommy in the kitchen. As we are deep in flour and dough, I realize how different we look at this experience. With the best of intentions, I see a great teaching opportunity - Learning how to follow a recipe, measuring, following instruction. All basic, important life skills, which I am afraid I am taking way too seriously. Aside from B's enthusiasm for all things cookie, she sees a pile of squishy dough (Um, hello...play-doh), cutouts to make shapes, a rolling pin (one of her favorite kitchen tools), and precious time with her mommy. SO in the middle of my 'Stop it, you are getting dough all over the floor' and 'No, that's not how you do it. Let me do it for you', I began to feel a twinge of guilt. Oh, the mommy shame. All you momsies know what I am talking about. The Lord was speaking to me, loud and clear, and I got out my camera and celebrated the mess. 

As I watched her, I became so conscious of how much she watches me. Even without my teacher hat on, without any deliberate instruction, she knew exactly what to do with the dough. She carefully gathered it in a ball, kneaded it, and rolled it with the pin. Was she flinging pieces on the floor? Yep. Did she get every single piece in the ball? Nope. And it didn't matter,  not anymore. I demonstrated patience, fun, and encouragement. That's how I got the marvelous smile you see above. Priceless.

'Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.' Proverbs 22:6

Since we were making heart cookies, I talked to her about what hearts symbolize. We talked about Valentine's Day and what it represents. LOVE. I love talking about love. (Ha, I amuse myself) B is very familiar with the word love, as we say 'I love you'...a lot. A lot a lot. It never goes out of style around here, and that's just the way I like it. We talked about God's love, His son, Jesus, and the love He has for all of us. She made a cookie just for Jesus, because she says she loves Him too.

Precious hearts of sugar, made special for our heavenly Father.

So, instead of being so rigid with lessons and order, I should focus these adventures on the adventures themselves - the fun, the love, the blessed mess. How awesome our God is. The mess can be cleaned up, the cookies don't have to be perfect, but the smile has to be marvelous. The joy needs to drip like syrup on a stack of pancakes.

When we delight in our children, we delight in the Lord. Jesus said that the kingdom of heaven belongs to children (Matthew 19:14) I know B cannot fathom this truth at her age, I can barely grasp it at my age. It's my honor to be her mother, to be trusted with this life, and to give her the most magnificent gift of all, which is to share God's amazing love with her. The glorious kingdom of heaven.

As you can see, I satisfied my craving for order by carefully placing these cookies in a pattern. Isn't it beautiful?

Super Easy Recipe: 1/2 lb. butter, softened and creamed; 2.5C flour;  1C confectioners' sugar; 1 tbs. milk; 1 tsp. vanilla
Use a mixer to combine ingredients. Knead the dough until smooth. Cut dough into sections, roll each section until 1/4 inch thick. Cut out cookies and place on cookie sheet. Bake in 325 F oven for 12-15 minutes. Decorate when cool.  

B's cookie she made for Jesus. She devoured half before I caught the picture. Man, is that girl fast.

Bless this mess (but keep a dust buster handy) :-)

Grace and Blessings,
k

Trust or Bust

Trust. What a loaded word. A dictionary defines it as: 'firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something'....'acceptance of the truth of a statement without evidence or investigation'. We've all been there, haven't we? Trusting someone and then getting burned. I know I have, and it leaves me with second guessing people, a lot. I mean, take a look at the definition...reliable, truthful, acceptance without evidence or investigation. Who can honestly, 100% of the time,  live up to these sorts of ideals? No one of this earth, I am confident in that. Now, before you write me off as a disgruntled woman with trust issues, rest assured I am not. That's not what this is about.....trust me?  :)

Proverbs 3:5 tells us to 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding'. We are biblically instructed to trust God. If you are anything like me, you  have heard these verses time and time again, really believing them and relying on them in times of tribulation. We even sound them off to a friend who may be dealing with some big questions of their own. We say, 'You're right, it's in God's hands' and move on. BUT (I mean that's a big BUT) do we have a firm belief; are we accepting of this, with all our heart, without evidence or investigation? So, our challenge as women of God, wives, mothers, friends, daughters, sisters, etc. is to be filled to the measure with the fullness of God (Eph. 3:19), to stand firm in His truth and His awesome ability and strength. He. Is. RELIABLE.

Oh, do I wrestle with this. By the grace of God, I am blessed way beyond an ounce of what I truly deserve. And even though I know this, sometimes  falling to my knees in glorious thanksgiving, I struggle with Proverbs 3:5. Should I go back to work? Do I make my husband happy? Am I a good mom and teaching my daughter everything she needs to know? Honestly, the internal debates we have as women are as exhausting and scary as a triathlon after childbirth. Yikes. SO my challenge to myself and everyone else who is worn to a frazzle, is to get lost in the following scripture. Sip them like a really robust, hot cup of coffee. I really do love my java. Say them out loud in sweet prayer, commit them to your memory and celebrate them when you need a good swig of His incredible truth.

'Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all He has done.' Philippians 4:6

'The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.' Exodus 14:14

'Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in Him and He will do this.' Psalm 37:4-5

'Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your wears submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.' Proverbs 3:5-6

' I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.' Philippians 4:13


Trust or bust, baby.

Grace and Blessings,
k